• Jaclyn Walker

I’m not cut out for this.


Its safe to say that I’m under some significant stress. So know, I’m OK. I’m working on being real time honest because I fear I will tunnel into a coma if I’m on my own with this. ❤️


I’m facing a wall of unknown.

Praying everyday that my baby’s life will be great while slowly {like, very slowly} peeking into her possible struggles.


It’s all consuming and overwhelming.


If I’m honest today, I’m hurt.

Hurt for me and hurt for her.

I love God and I trust Him.

I believe He is the author of life and death.


I believe he made me exactly as I am, 5’3” not a pinch more, for some great purpose.

He made her with one extra chromosome, for some great purpose, to be revealed.


And I don’t get it.


I was sharing with a friend, I’m altogether inadequate for this. To say it even that way is a gross understatement.


I’m not patient or soft.

I was raised by a military officer and when you’re near me you know it.

I’m a driver. Putting it very lightly.


Being forbearing is not in my strengths let alone skills. Sweet littles with additional needs in my mind have always been an awesome fit for other people...


Other people. !! 🤦🏼‍♀️

& I’ve always admired ‘them.’ 😔


I can’t begin to know what God is up to with me. My mind is too small to connect the dots on this one.


ALL I can do is literally one moment at a time.

Looking at her sweet face today and praying my heart will be tender to the willingness to become what she needs.

Begging God to do it.


And not stay stuck in fear.

❤️


𝙁𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙣𝙤𝙩, 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪; 𝙗𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙢𝙖𝙮𝙚𝙙, 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙂𝙤𝙙; 𝙄 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙄 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙄 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙪𝙥𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙮 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙚𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙. 𝙞𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙖𝙝 41:10



#𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚛 #𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠𝚠𝚎𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚎𝚛⁣⁣ #𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚝 #𝚝𝟸𝟷 #𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢𝚏𝚎𝚠 #𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝 #𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 #𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚑𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚞𝚝 #𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚎 #𝚞𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚎 #𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚖 #𝚔𝚎𝚝𝚘𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚢 #𝚒𝚞𝚐𝚛𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢 #𝚊𝚍𝚟𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 #𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚒𝚜𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚢𝚘𝚞 #𝚍𝚜𝚍𝚗 #𝚝𝟸𝟷𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚜 #𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚜

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